What’s it like to live in a house full of testosterone?

With Monkey’s personality really starting to shine through, Bunny’s personality being in full swing and Mr. Bear’s being pretty much set in stone; I can now give you a real glimpse of what it’s like to live in a house full of testosterone.

  1. All the boys want to hold the remote, at all times. So much so that Monkey has an old TV remote (sans batteries) that he walks around with. What is it with boys wanting to hold the remote? Power?
  2. There is always an aroma of stale wee around at least 1 bathroom. Bunny swears he knows how to aim, yet he admits that it’s his pee stains in the bidet. Like WTF? Why would you pee in there?
  3. There is often a “Let’s-see-who-can-have-the-last-say” with each instruction, order, comment, request, question, and opinion. Throwing self down on floor counts as one too.
  4. They eat the.whole.time, non-stop! It never ends. Like a bottomless pit. And the two worst ones, are the tiny humans. *Note to self! Start food savings account for when boys are teens.
  5. Competition is inevitable. Brushing teeth, bathing/showering, getting dressed, finishing their meal, getting into the car, talking the loudest, farting…
  6. They really don’t know where the washing basket is at all times. Bunny will get home and his school socks will lie in front of the TV until I have to remind him where to put them. Monkey might not know how to put it in the basket, but he certainly knows how to take it out of the basket and throw it all over the floor, all over the house. Mr. Bear…. well, most of the time he gets it right, even if it just hangs over the basket.
  7. Speaking of washing basket, can we just pause for a moment and really let it sink in HOW MUCH WASHING they are responsible for!!! 2 to 3 outfits per day, depending on the person!
  8. Although not one of them are late sleepers in the morning (I still have slight hope, but it’s running low), they all sleep like the dead. I swear you could bang on pots right next to their bed and they wouldn’t even flinch.
  9. They love giving cuddles and smooches. No matter their age, I get showered in them throughout the day. Yes, sometimes it’s from Bunny while I’m trying to correct his behavior, or from Monkey while I really just want to have 1 minute to myself in the bathroom, or Mr. Bear while I’m rushing to get supper done. But I love them and so, I stop and soak it in.
  10. Silly laughter happens throughout the day. From blowing kisses on a tummy; to tickling; to their own farting noises; and jokes that don’t make sense. There is aways someone laughing at something.

    The fascination never ends regarding certain body extremities. Luckily the older you get, the less public these fascinations become, but still. Why as soon as the nappy comes off, the hand goes there? What! Did you think it’s fallen off from the last time your nappy had been cleaned?

Do I sometimes really feel like I’m the only one that makes sense? ABSOLUTELY!
Do I sometimes wonder how it would have been if the house was balanced between testosterone and estrogen? DEFINITELY!
Would I change any of this, even for 1 day? NOT IN A MILLION YEARS!

Boys are awesome. Yes, they can have emotional eruptions similar to that of a volcano. BUT once done, they don’t really linger on it. They get over it and move on. Boys are easy. No bitchiness. No cat fights. Just mostly easy, apart from some of the things above.

What’s it like in your house? Tell us in the comments.

Our first visit “Home”; as an Expat

We’ve been Expats now for close to a year, and the boys and I recently had our first trip “back home”.

Being away from Home for just over 10 months has widened our hearts and minds. We’re part of a different culture; not only the one that we currently live in but also the culture of being an Expat; an outsider.

For months I’ve had friends and family telling me how they miss us and when are we coming to visit. With Bunny’s school holidays approaching towards mid-January, I suggested that I take the kids to visit friends and family, instead of just lounging around in the house while Mr. Bear still had to work. It would be 2 weeks of excitement; constant get together’s and meet-ups where Bunny could play outside in a garden, Monkey could get used to what real grass feels like, I could soak up the typical Highveld summer thunderstorms with the added pleasure of seeing the people I hold dear to my heart.

I had announced our idea to some friends and family and it was very well received. Some even counting the days down with me, some starting to make plans, but then, some not sharing much care or enthusiasm about it.

I was told numerous times by other expats who have gone through this type of visit, that it’s rarely all that you wish it to be and one often will expect way more; that I had to remember that I’m not going through what they are going trough right now; I’m not really part of their lives, even if we still had daily contact; that I would see who were willing to make an effort; and that the easiest would be to organize one event where people can come see us, instead of me dragging the kids all over the place each day to try and try fit everyone in.

My heart sank quite a bit when I heard that it wouldn’t be all sunshine and roses. I mean, these are people I care for and they care about me. I’m making the effort of a 11+ hour trip across the world; why wouldn’t some make a small effort. I’m sure my people won’t be like that!!

Well, wake up and smell the bloody roses!! They were right.

By all means, I had family and great friends who really did make a lot of effort to come and see me. Effort from driving 3-hours to come to where I was staying; extending their own trip to stay longer; to blocking out an entire afternoon to see their “doctor”; and others just making the effort to maneuver through hectic traffic to come say hi. It was absolutely heart-warming to see how some would put their lives on hold for a little bit to come see us.

Don’t get me wrong; I know one can’t always take off work, or take a break for a coffee, especially during the week, or rearrange a whole day with kid’s schedules. I really do get that. Good grief! I had to adapt and rearrange both my kid’s routines for 2 weeks, in a different time zone, miles away from their new home, without their Daddy, in a foreign house with new tastes and smells. I know that I’m not “used to” what’s going on in said Home Country. I know you have your own life now. I know sometimes plans just really don’t go as we intend them to go. Really, I do get that… Just didn’t realize your own life meant I can’t be a part of it in living form, but only through social media…

This is not a post to make anyone feel bad that didn’t make an effort or whom I didn’t get to see. This is just a heads-up to anyone planning a trip “back home”.

Visiting back home after being away for nearly a year, certainly has stirred up a lot of emotions in me. Even when you look past the whole visiting of friends and family.

Currently, we live in a country where it’s relatively safe. Where violent crimes are unheard of. Even petty crimes do not make the news headlines, not even on a monthly basis. It just doesn’t happen… Compared to our Home country, where violence and crime is part of everyone’s lives on an almost daily basis.

So it was quite a reality shock to be petrified to sleep alone in the house without a family member at night; to not allow Bunny to stroll behind me in a shop; to not want to drive around in case we catch a red traffic light and having to wait for it to turn green.

It made me realize how pathetic it is to live in a country where you don’t feel safe; where you have to constantly look over your shoulder and be on permanent guard mode. How did I ever manage to live with it for so long?

Our holiday overall wasn’t so great. It didn’t turn out the way I had hoped. It was lonely during the days while everyone was at work. It was nerve wrecking at night with only me and the kids in one massive house. I missed having my boy’s daddy. They missed him. We were all miserable. One phone call and a good amount of tears later and Mr. Bear went to change our flight ticket to come back home 4-days earlier.

Do I want to go visit again? Yes sure. But this time completely on my T’s & C’s.

The next time another Expat gives me advice on these type of things, I’ll actually follow them and not think that “my trip will be different.” Seems everyone’s trips are all the same.


On our way back home