For now, you are still my baby

As I look at you while you’ve drifted off to Dreamland, I can’t help that my heart just skips a beat. You look so peaceful and content. Although I’m sure you’re busy slaying a big dragon; or running amongst wolves; or maybe you’re just contemplating your next exploration adventure for once you awake. Oh my, how I love you so.

It’s been a few days now that I can’t keep my eyes off of you. Not because you’ve started climbing on top of everything. Nor is it because you move my furniture and things all over the place. It’s not even because I have to ensure I’m close by, in case you’re able to reach the top of the table and pull things off. Instead, it’s because I cannot believe just how you’ve grown. We’re less than 2 weeks away from your first birthday and Mommy is just ever so slightly emotional about it.

Why? I don’t know. The reality that you’re not a baby anymore, even though you’ll always be my baby. Maybe because you’ve achieved so much in this past year. Or maybe it’s because you’ve taught me so much. It’s probably all of the aboveĀ and more.

I look at you and I see love. I see the enjoyment of simple things. I see the excitement when you’ve achieved something new. I see your face brighten up completely when Daddy or Bunny walk into the house. I see your curiosity when you’ve managed to reach a higher height/object. I see your amazement when you look at water splashing down. I see your joy when I come get you after you’ve had a nap. I see your fascination with the light switches. Oh, how I see it all.

How it pains me when you bump yourself and the tears roll over your smooth cheek. How it hurts when I see you’re in pain. But how beautiful it is to see you getting up and trying again; once you’ve had a cuddle or two. There is just so much we can learn from you and your persistence.

All years fly by. At each year-end, you’ll always hear someone say something like “I can’t believe this year is over!” But this year… this year has gone by at the speed of light. Just the other day I touched you for the first time. Not long after that, you’d give your first real smile. Soon after that, you would turn full circle while lying on your back. And not long after that you’d roll over, sit, laugh hysterically, crawl, have 6 teeth, eat most food, pull yourself up, cruise along the couches, blow kisses, clap hands, point to things, stand, say a few words, stack my Tupperware to make a tower, and now even giving a few unassisted steps.

Where has the time gone?

It is wonderful to see you grow and become more and more dependent. But it’s the best to see that you still love Mommy’s cuddles and kisses and routinely come back to me for safety, reassurance and just to connect againĀ before you go explore or try something new.

I cannot wait to see what you have in store for us in the years to come.

But for now, I’ll continue rocking you when those pesky teeth are bothering you at night. I’ll continue to give you cuddles. I’ll continue to help you up after you’ve fallen down. I’ll continue to join you in your amazing world as we discover all the new, yet simple things in life, I’ll continue to hold you when you feel the floor is about to swallow you whole, I’ll continue to love you, even when you drive me loopy. I’ll continue to kiss you, until the day you’re able to run away from them.

For now, you are still my baby. My ray of sunshine, and vibrant rainbow after a stormy weather.