After the terrible two’s

They say the Terrible Two’s are bad and that the Threenager’s are worse. But very seldom do they talk about the year from HELL, I mean the 365 days where your child has fully outgrown the toddler phase and nestled himself into the stage of the preschooler. That gap, no, eternity where they’re 4 going onto 5. That my fellow mommy is the WORST!!

With the Terrible Two’s you expect them to happen. You’ve been warned, most probably from the little one’s first birthday about the upcoming stage. You know they’re coming. It’s all about the little one trying to express themselves and doing, mostly so, a horrible job of it. They think they know what they want, but they don’t and yet they will try to enforce their will upon you, even though after receiving it, realize it’s not that one they wanted in the first place and how could you have guessed it all incorrectly! And all of this is being done in shouts and screams resembling a mix between a lion and a gorilla.

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Terrible Two Bunny

Then once you get to understand the mix-match language your one uses to let himself/herself be heard, they freakin change it up again. The Threenagers…. they are even worse. What used to work with your Terrible Two will undoubtedly not work with this phase. You used to be able to calm them down sometimes by just giving a hug and singing them their favorite song. That won’t work anymore. They have come to realize that they can shout back, throw an even bigger tantrum and due to the fact that they can communicate a bit better. Not that you will understand them better, as they still don’t really know what they actually want; but the throwing whole body down onto floor will become less. What will take it’s place? Stomping of feet or throwing down of incorrect item given.

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Threenager Bunny

Year between 3 and 4, is pretty much the same. Maybe in some ways a bit easier as what they want is being expressed in a better way, a way that you can actually understand them. But on the down side; their fierce independence kicks in too. There’s almost next to none of throwing body to the ground, but there is still some stomping of feet, or more jumping up and down. Not sure if they think that making a hole in the ground will help their case, but in any way… who am I to tell them it doesn’t work? More words in the vocabulary are thrown in the mix too, which can give you some assistance to what they want or otherwise drive you to the nearest coockoo-house.

 

And then you think it’s all over… But you haven’t been more wrong in your entire life. Because between year 4 and 5, you get the Effing Years. Here their vocabs are so good that you can have a decent conversation with them, but that won’t happen when they’re not getting what they want, when they want it. They now also start throwing any and everything around, as if throwing your cars all over the room will get you out of cleaning your room. Mine sometimes scratches himself too… htf is that going to help you with regards to not eating your supper? The worst of it all, is they have also by now started picking up some of your behavioral manners – my sarcasm comes out strong out of his mouth and I’m left in awe shock as to what comes out. It sometimes feels like you’re arguing with yourself about why you should go have a bath now, while standing there thinking “Is that really what I sound like?” And for that reason, these years are the worst, because you need a goddamnn negotiation degree to just get through the day with these little ones. A hug to calm down is now the only thing YOU need, as they definitely don’t want it.

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Effing Years Bunny

And then night time comes…

My theory as to why the night time comes? For you to look at them while they sleep and they seem so peaceful and angelic. Otherwise you might have run away long ago. These are also lovely years, as when the sarcasm isn’t used against you, they do come up with the most fascinating stories and imagination. So while your little one might now be there yet; don’t worry, it’s still coming, but also, the good days will get you through the horrible days.

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Peaceful Bunny
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