The Tooth Fairy’s Doppelgänger

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Did you know the lovely and generous Tooth Fairy has a Doppelgänger? And she’s EVIL! Oh yes, she exists. And she’s so evil that she starts pestering your kids at an age where they are totally dependent on you.

The Tooth Fairy comes in quietly and without a sound takes your child’s tooth and leaves a “reward” in exchange for a Pearly White. She doesn’t bother the child. They won’t even know when she is in the room with them. She’s even so considerate that she comes in at night while your child is sleeping. Leaving them to soundlessly continue their dream in Lala-Land.

The Doppelgänger does the complete opposite! She’s a total b*tch!

Not only does she start showing up when your wee-one is only a baby, sometimes as early as not even a 100 days old. But she also lingers, sometimes for months, without giving you anything beautiful in return. No! All she gives is discomfort, pain, swollen gums, rashes on the chin from all the saliva, yucky poo nappies and most of all she turns your sweet little angel into some demonic lunatic frantically wanting everything and nothing at the exact same time.

I actually don’t even think she’s a fairy anymore due to this behavior. Her wings and magic have been stripped from her by the Fairy Godmother. Now she’s just called The Teething Monster. I think she used to be nice and lovely, warm and cuddly. Maybe until some selfish little brat tried to give her some rotten tooth decaying tooth of a dog; trying to pawn it off as it’s own to get more money. She was so insulted that she decided to take revenge upon all children and cause pain. But children just weren’t enough; due to a 6 or 7 year old who can actually tell their parents if and where they’re hurt. So she started targeting those that can’t speak and voice their pain; infants… Now she’s the selfish and evil one!

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The Teething Monster

Monkey has been really battling with this Monster for the past 2 days. My usually permanently smiling boy has disappeared and only shows his true self, for a while, after I’ve rubbed some teething gel on his gums. That quietens that b*tch for a while…. but not for long… The force is strong with her. She’s driving me loopy. I hate her!!

So what can one do to shut the Monster up? Nothing! Ok fine, a little bit but it’s not permanent:

  • Rub the gum with a clean finger
  • Chewing toys/teething rings (For some odd reason, Sophie the Giraffe, is a favorite)
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    Sophie
  • A cold/frozen face cloth to chew on
  • Teething gels
  • Once they’re eating, some frozen bananas/mangoes or some hard foods, biltong is perfect (Google it if you don’t know what it is)
  • Freeze a dummy/teething toy
  • Some swear by a pure Baltic amber teething necklace
  • Others swear by Teething tissue salts
  • If really bad, some paracetamol (ask your doc first)
  • LOTS AND LOTS of cuddles

What can the mother do to keep her sanity? Also nothing…. nothing is permanent, but you could try:

  • Coffee or something stronger if allowed
  • Patience, LOTS OF IT
  • Uhm…. that’s it… I don’t have any other advice

I envy moms and babies who go through this stage without even realizing that a tooth is on it’s way. I think it’s absolutely unfair that some babies have, or at least, show no discomfort and other babies are being plagued by this evil Monster.

In the mean time, we’ll just wait… patiently… with no patience… We’ll work in extra cuddles and go on another hunting expedition for different teething toys to chew on… while we silently keep telling the Monster off in all kinds of lovely adjectives!

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