The rationality of a 4 year old

Being a 4 year old comes with all sorts of weird and funny stories…. and behaviors.

I’ve heard from other moms that boys tend to want someone to play with them more than what girls want. And that is tiring.

It’s not that I have no imagination or even that Bunny doesn’t have one. He has a great vivid and wild imagination. For me it’s the orders that are being given on how to play or what to say or do when I puck up the courage and strength to sit and play cars or dinosaurs with him. It frustrates me. It’s like someone telling you how to do your job after you’ve been told you have free reign on doing your job. Double bloody standards!

But what gets me the most and are utterly nonsensical, is the following:

Bunny: Please play with me mommy.
Me: You need to learn to play a bit by yourself my boy.
Bunny: But I can’t. It’s impossible. (He loves this word.)
Me: Nothing is impossible. Play by yourself. Use your imagination. Pretend your toys are alive. Just like on Doc McStuffins and Justin Time.
Bunny: They don’t pretend. It is alive and real.
Me: *No comeback. Seems pretending only applies to the time you have to throw your food out the window so Toothless the dragon can eat.*

That’s usually how the negotiation conversation goes. Every.day.All.the.time!

Now here’s the weird and nonsensical part of the story. This happens usually early morning while he’s supposed to get ready for school or when he’s supposed to clean up (which as he says is impossible.)

Me: Bunny please come and eat your breakfast.
Bunny: I can’t. I’m still playing.
Me: Yes but you need to eat breakfast first.
Bunny: I’m still busy.
Me: *Temper starts rising. I have NO patience in the early morning. Coffee still needs to kick in. Don’t mess with me!* I hear you, but first, breakfast. You’ve been playing for a while now. Come eat and get dressed and then you can play a bit more until we have to leave.
Bunny: I need to finish this or that…
Me: Bunny, now!
Bunny: *Stomps the floor* *throws a toy* But I’m busy!!!
Me: Totally get it. Routine first.
Bunny: *Reluctantly comes to eat* You never let me play!
Me: *What.the.actual.fishfingers!!!*

Then a similar dialogue goes before getting dressed as well as before brushing teeth and hair.
Like whatever happened to it’s impossible or I can’t play by myself?

The best is before bed (or bath) time:
Me: Please clean up your room. It’s bedtime.
Bunny: But I’m playing.
Me: Yes I see that and that’s very good. Well done. But it’s time for bed.
Bunny: But my toys need playing and I have to finish this or that (usually building something from lego)
Me: Yes and you can continue tomorrow. Start cleaning up.
Bunny: *wait for it* But it’s IMPOSSIBLE!
Me: It’s not impossible. You’ve done it before.
Bunny: But it’s all over my room.
Me: Yes and you put it all over your room. So now clean up.
Bunny: I didn’t put it all over my room.
Me: *Say what? * It didn’t move itself from off your shelf or out of the box.
Bunny: Yes. It did!
Me: *Exasperated. Before having kids, one should go for negotiation training* Bunny, you played with it, you clean it. Otherwise you, or me, are going to step on it during the night and I don’t feel like having a piece of lego lodge itself in my foot.
Bunny: *With loads of grunts starts cleaning up*
And then, suddenly, a shriek from the bedroom can be heard. Something that sounds like someone’s leg has been brutally amputated without any anaesthetics. Rush over to the room…
Me: What happened?
Bunny: *Wailing* I stepped on a lego piece
Me: Well, that’s why I told you to clean your room.

unnamed
Bunny playing

Seriously!!! Why can they pretend toys are alive when it suits them? Why can they play by themselves and be adamant to continue playing when there are other things to be done? But when they’ve got all the time in the world, then it’s impossible. Drives me to the closest bottle of wine nuts, coockoo, cray cray!!

My biggest wish? For Doc McStuffins and Justin to once admit that they’re using their god-damned imagination to keep themselves busy.

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